To the Grandmother of My Baby

Dear Mom,

Today is the day before Thanksgiving, and I have a lot to be thankful for this year.  I have a loving, supportive husband, and we welcomed our first baby into the world 11 short weeks ago.  I have food to eat, and a home, and good health.

And I have you... not just my mom anymore, but the grandmother to my baby.

I knew from the second I found out I was pregnant how lucky this sweet baby would be to have you to call grandma.  You love on her, and spoil her, and tell her how special and good and important she is.  I knew that you would.  I knew that you would do that SO good.

But there was something I didn't know yet.  I didn't realize how important your new role as my baby's grandma would be, not just to her, but to ME.

When I need advice, you will always answer my questions and try to help me problem solve, and I'm so grateful for that.  But often you don't give me advice.

You listen, you support me, you show me that you trust me to make decisions that are right for my daughter.  When I whole-heartedly go on and on about the importance of an "eat, wake, sleep" schedule, you nod in agreement and tell me what a good idea that is.  And then the next day when I tell you that schedule is the stupidest thing I have ever heard and it clearly does.not.work. and I need to let her eat and wake and sleep in any order she may choose, you nod again, "That makes so much sense, sweetie, you're doing a good job."

You let me tell you in the tiniest, most insignificant detail, how you must hold her, how to soothe her, how to care for her.  You, a woman who has raised three children of your own, ran a day care out of your home for years, and has taught in an elementary school for two decades, allow me, a first time mom who loves her baby but doesn't have a clue yet what she's doing, to tell you what to do.  And you act like each and every detail is not only incredibly important, but also absolutely brilliant, repeating back steps to me to make sure you have it right and haven't missed anything. What a humble woman it takes to listen to an inexperienced mother tell you what is best without feeling the need to remind me that you already know - that you've been there, and done that.

Do you have any idea what that does to a new mom's self esteem?  Do you know how it makes me feel?  Do you realize that even when I'm overwhelmed by a colicky baby and feel like I don't know what to do, you make me think I can DO this?  What greater gift could a grandmother possibly give her new grandchild than a mom who has confidence in her ability to care for this precious life?

So, this Thanksgiving I want you to know that I'm thankful for all that you do, Mom, and I'm even more thankful for all that you are.  The kind of thankful that makes your heart explode because it hurts so good, the kind of thankful that's too big for words.  But words are all I have, so I hope you know that even though the words are small, the feeling inside them is earth-shatteringly huge.

Thank you. I love you.

Love always,

Your Baby